Grey Divorce: Unique Considerations for Older Couples in Mediation

Divorce isn’t just for the young. In fact, so-called grey divorce—divorce among adults 50 and older—has been rising steadily for decades. According to the American Psychological Association:

• One in four divorces in the U.S. now involves people over 50.
• For those 65 and older? The divorce rate has tripled since 1990.
• 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.

Why? Longer life expectancies, changing societal norms, and a growing desire for independence are some of the factors that play a role.

Ending a marriage at any age is tough, but for older couples, the process often comes with unique financial and family complexities.

Financial Considerations for Older Divorcing Couples

Dividing assets is always tricky and for those divorcing later in life it can be even more high-stakes. Retirement accounts, pensions, Social Security benefits, and healthcare planning aren’t just numbers on a spreadsheet–they’re the foundation of financial security for the years ahead.

For example, imagine a couple in their early 60s. If one spouse planned to retire early, how does that impact the other’s financial stability? Should they sell the family home or find a way to keep it? How will they cover long-term care costs? These aren’t just legal questions—they’re real-life concerns that require thoughtful solutions.

The Family Ripple Effect: Navigating Divorce with Adult Children

Grey divorce doesn’t just affect the couple splitting up—it has an impact on the entire extended family. After all, divorce does not only impact minor children! Adult children may need to grieve the loss of the nuclear family unit. Perhaps they worry they’ll get caught in the middle. Or, fear that one parent might lean on them emotionally or even financially, creating stress and unintended strain.

And what about family gatherings? Weddings, holidays, and birthdays don’t stop after divorce. Navigating these events without tension is a major concern for many older couples.

Take Susan and Mark, for example. After 30 years of marriage, they decided to part ways. Their biggest concerns? Splitting Mark’s pension, figuring out what to do with the family home, and ensuring they could both attend their daughter’s wedding without making it awkward.

Through divorce mediation, they found creative solutions such as:

• Developing a QDRO to divide the pension in a way that kept both financially secure
• Delaying the home sale for two years to give Susan time to transition
• Establishing shared expectations for how to navigate future family events to avoid conflict

Instead of a drawn-out battle, they crafted a practical plan in a collaborative fashion.

Why Mediation Can be an Easier Path for Grey Divorce

Litigation can be expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining—not exactly what most people want when they’re trying to move forward in life. On the other hand, divorce mediation for older couples offers:

• A collaborative, solution-focused approach
• More control over decisions, rather than leaving it up to a judge
• A faster, more cost-effective process to transition to the next stage of like (Avoid Brad and Angelina’s approach—8 years!)

For couples like Susan and Mark, mediation wasn’t just about dividing assets—it was about crafting a future that made sense for both of them and the experience for their adult children.

Grey divorce comes with challenges, but with the right approach, it doesn’t have to be a battle. Mediation helps couples find solutions that respect their history while paving the way for a dignified next chapter.