Archive for month: February, 2022

Two cheerful black and white recruiters welcoming female applicant on job interview, african and caucasian hr managers greeting candidate for vacant position, handshaking and good first impression

Choosing the Right Divorce Mediator

in , ,

Next to the loss of a loved one it is said that divorce is arguably the most stressful experience one can have. It is important that you pick a divorce mediator who can guide you through the complex divorce process in Massachusetts.

Trust, comfort, and confidence in your divorce mediator is essential. Trust in their integrity. Comfort with their style and approach. And confidence in their knowledge and skills. Knowing how to choose a divorce mediator is an important step in moving forward with a collaborative divorce process.

Read what clients have to say

Questions to Ask When Hiring a Divorce Mediator in Massachusetts

  • How long have you been mediating?
    Look for someone with experience. How many divorce mediations are they currently working on? 
  • What is your background and why did you become a mediator?
    Some mediators are social workers, some attorneys, some financial experts, and more. Why did they get in to mediation?
  • What differentiates you from other mediators?
    Every mediator has strengths they bring to the table and they should match what you believe you need. What sets them apart from other mediators?
  • What are your rates?
    Mediators should be up front with all associated divorce mediation costs.
  • How long will this process take?
    Mediators cannot predict the future. However, they should be able to guesstimate a range of sessions you will need after asking you a few questions.
  • How does the paperwork get completed?
    Some mediators provide the court forms and others don’t. Some draft the Separation Agreement and others only a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) that would be brought to an attorney for drafting. A good divorce mediator should outline in detail the services offered.
  • How do you handle conflict?
    Every mediator has approaches they use to manage conflict that arise in divorce negotiations. They should be able to describe some of the ways they manage difficult conversations.
  • What does the divorce process involve?
    In any consultation a mediator should be able to provide a general overview of a 1A uncontested divorce process. Ask about the decisions that need to be made, the legal standards the probate and family court use to approve decisions, and for a description of the hearing process.
  • How were you trained and how do you keep up with current practice?
    Most mediators affiliate with mediation organizations. Others have continuing education requirements as part of their professional licensing.
  • How would you describe your mediation style?
    There are formal styles (facilitative, evaluative, and transformative). Mediators should be able to describe their own personal style.
  • What ethics, values and principles do you follow?
    Any mediator should describe the core principles of mediation. Similarly, they should describe their personal guiding values.
Schedule a FREE Consultation with Ben!

The Single Most Important Factor in How to Choose a Divorce Mediator in Massachusetts (or anywhere!)

Fit.

You will be sharing deeply personal information. Determining your financial future. Crafting a co-parenting plan to help your children have the best possible childhood. 

Bottom line: it is critical that you both feel secure and comfort with your mediator.

Trying to choose a divorce mediator in Massachusetts or New England? Contact Ben Stich if you would like to ask him any of these questions in a free divorce mediation consultation.

Close-up Of Hand With Pen On Petition For Divorce Paper

How to Get an Uncontested Divorce in Massachusetts

in , ,

In Massachusetts an uncontested divorce is called a no-fault 1A divorce. In a 1A the couple jointly petitions the court to review and approve their separation agreement, which is the divorce agreement (a confusing misnomer for those already separated). The couple will have already come to agreement on all terms of their divorce, including the division of assets and liabilities and for parents, the parenting plan.

Options for Pursuing an Uncontested Divorce in Massachusetts

There are three ways to pursue an uncontested divorce in Massachusetts:

Do-it-yourself divorce:

It is possible to file for divorce on your own. The benefit of doing so is that it is the quickest and least expensive approach. It is best suited for short-term marriages with minimal assets and no children. The disadvantage is that for parents and/or couples with assets it be can difficult to make informed decisions about very important matters (your kids and your money) without the guidance of a divorce professional. Unfortunately, it is common for do-it-yourself agreements to be rejected by the court (and I have mediated agreements for couples who first tried to file on their own to then have a judge fail to approve the agreement).

Divorce Mediation:

Divorce mediation is the next most cost-effective process. The mediator facilitates the divorce negotiation and provides important information to make sure informed decisions are made. If there is disagreement the mediator will help the couple resolve their conflicts. The couple remains in control of their decisions and can determine the pacing of the process. Mediation is confidential which can help couples negotiate in good faith. Mediation is also voluntary and is effective for both amicable couples and couples experiencing high conflict…as long as both spouses choose to participate.

Collaborative Divorce:

Collaborative Divorce is a team approach to divorce. Both spouses hire a collaboratively trained attorney. A divorce coach facilitates the process. The coach works with the couple to support their participation in the process. The coach also works with the attorneys to help them function as a team to address the interests of both spouses. The attorneys may only negotiate when in team meetings with the spouses and the divorce coach present. Often, a financial neutral also joins the team to provide financial guidance. Collaborative divorce is more expensive than mediation but usually less expensive than contested divorces. Like mediation, the couple negotiates directly and has control over the outcome. Unlike mediation, the negotiation occurs with their legal counsel on hand to provide direct guidance through the process.

One other uncontested divorce option:

If a spouse has filed a 1B divorce the couple can still participate in Mediation or Collaborative Divorce and change the contested 1B divorce to an uncontested 1A divorce.

To learn more about how mediation or collaborative divorce can help you file an uncontested divorce contact Ben for a free half hour consultation.

Rear View Of A Couple Sitting In Front Of Mediator

What Is Family Law Mediation?

in

A family law mediator is a third party impartial facilitator who helps families resolve their disputes without lengthy and costly litigation.
Consider these questions:

  • Are you hoping to get a divorce without spending more money than you need to0?
  • Do you have conflict with your siblings about your parents’ end-of-life care?
  • Are you embroiled in intractable disputes with family about an inherited estate?
  • Are you unmarried and need to figure out a custody parenting plan?
  • Were you divorced a long time ago and now need to make changes to child support?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions you have a family law dispute and mediation might help.

Why should I consider family law mediation?

Family court is an expensive, time-consuming, and acrimonious system. If you and your family (spouse, brother, parent, etc) would like to negotiate directly with one another an alternative path might be helpful.

Recently, I mediated between three siblings about inherited property. They had disputes about how to share the properties; how to care and maintain the properties; and how to handle an equity buy-out one sibling desperately wanted. The conflict got worse with time and when they called me there had been a complete breakdown in communication.

Of course, they each could hire a probate litigator to fight for their interests in court. Some would win. Some would lose. They would spend 10’s of thousands of dollars between them and exacerbate their already frayed relationships. And then wait a very long time for a determination by the judge.

Fortunately, they mediated. If you were to ask them why family law mediation should be considered they would highlight:

  • It saved us money
  • It gave us more control over the final decisions
  • We were more fair with each other
  • It saved us time
  • My siblings finally heard me out
  • Maybe we can share holiday meals together in the future
  • We are trying hard to work together to honor our deceased parents

How can I learn more about family and divorce mediation?

If you would to learn more about divorce and family mediation schedule a free half-hour consultation with Ben.

Ben Stich Mediator, LICSW, M.Ed

Services

Contact Us

Schedule a Free Mediation Consultation.

Contact Ben

Schedule FREE Consultation