Tag: mediation
How to Divorce Online During Covid-19: Free Online Mediation Checklist
Resolving divorce and family conflicts are more important now than ever during Covid-19. Thankfully, we live in an age of sophisticated technology. Zoom online mediation brings the mediation room to you! I have provided virtual remote mediation for many years to accommodate clients living in different locations. And I have learned a lot about what Continue Reading »
Move Ahead with your Divorce During COVID-19: Zoom Remote Divorce Mediation
Email from divorce mediation client: “Ben, looks like we will have to postpone our divorce mediation with the Coronavirus and everything going on. We’ll be in touch.” In the last week during the Covid-19 stay-at-home orders I have received multiple emails just like this one. Zoom to the Rescue! I am happy to report that Continue Reading »
Divorce with Children – An Interview with Ben Stich
I was honored to be interviewed by Natalie Armstrong from the Marketing Resolution YouTube Channel on Tuesday from among the many stellar divorce and family mediators she knows. The interview was fun, brief, and hopefully informative for viewers interested in learning about family and divorce mediation. Check it out! Divorcing with Children: An Interview with Divorce Continue Reading »
How Does Custody Work in Massachusetts?
The word “custody” conjures ugly divisive images for many people. This post will clarify how child custody works in Massachusetts. Two Types of Custody In Massachusetts there is legal custody and physical custody. Legal custody involves a parent’s legal right to making decisions for their child. Physical custody relates to time the child lives with Continue Reading »
Your Kids and Divorce: Mediating a Child-First Divorce
What do kids and divorce negotiations have to do with one another? A lot! (for parents). Thinking about your kids could be the best decision you’ll make in your divorce negotiation. Your Kids’ Shoes I recently wrapped up a mediation that was a model child-centered divorce. The parents weren’t buddies. They didn’t spend a lot Continue Reading »
What is a Mediator? Mediation Questions Answered on the Inside Divorce Podcast
I had a blast recently being interviewed by divorce attorney Cynthia Auckly-Barbuto of the Law Firm of Grossman & Associates in Newton, MA. Cynthia hosted an edition of their Inside Divorce Podcast. We spent a half hour answering questions like “What is a mediator?” and “How can mediation help parents in high conflict situations divorce?” Click to hear Ben Continue Reading »
How to Divorce in Massachusetts Using Mediation: An Interview on WCRN
I had the great fortune to be interviewed by Attorney Allen Margulis of the Total Counselor Show on WCRN on July 31st about how to divorce in Massachusetts. During the hour-long interview we discussed the different ways to get divorced in Massachusetts, with a particularly emphasis on divorce mediation. I shared one of my favorite Continue Reading »
Mediators Can Help HIGH Conflict: Fact or Fiction?
People tell me “I want to refer someone to you but they are really high conflict so there’s no way mediation could work for them.” Then, I take a deep breathe, resist the urge to say something like “that doesn’t make sense!” and ask them to tell me about the situation. FICTION: Mediators only works for Continue Reading »
The Assumption Trap | Lessons from Family Mediation Services
I often find inspiration for posts from my family mediation services. But the reality is that communication lessons are present everyday if we pay attention. A friend of mine was venting to me recently about his mother-in-law. He is a videographer. Exceptionally talented, award-winning, and creative. He has made a great career creating marketing materials Continue Reading »
A Mediator’s Best Friend Can Remedy Your Relationship Issues
I am a mediator and I recently lost one of the loves of my life. A best friend. A source of unconditional support. His name was Brady. My dog, Brady. I provide family mediation, and yes, I am one of those pet-owners. You know the kind. The ones who consider their pet a member of the Continue Reading »
Dealing With Divorce Can Be Easier When You Think Like a Kindergartener
I am always trying to find a unique twist for my posts. Something that sets my ideas apart. Thinking about this post, common expressions I hear from parents in mediation kept running through my mind. Statements like: He’s so demanding. She’s so controlling. He’s rude. She’s bossy. Hmmm…I wonder what mind-blowing advice I could provide Continue Reading »
Is All Fair in Love and War? Lessons for Marriages, Divorce, and Separation Agreements
Common separation agreement ideas: “We’ll just split things down the middle. That’s just the fair thing to do.” “We just want to be fair so we’ll add it all up and split it 50/50.” These are reasonable ideas. But does that mean they are “fair?” What Do You Mean? Of Course it Does! Does fairness Continue Reading »
6 Ways to Deal with Rigid Black and White Thinkers Inspired by Mediation for Divorce Clients
Do you ever feel like banging your head against the wall when dealing with rigid and inflexible people? Folks who get stuck in only one way of thinking? Who have trouble seeing the forest through the trees? Ever find yourself in a conversation that seems to be going nowhere because the other person doesn’t Continue Reading »
3 Divorce Mediation Tips: How to Deal with Family Problems
Echos of a divorce mediation: She doesn’t get it! He’s SO emotional. All they’re going to do is talk about their FEELINGS. She’s SO patronizing. All he’s going to do is talk about what is LOGICAL. Can you relate to arguing with someone whose brain operates in a fundamentally different way than yours? Common Dynamics Continue Reading »
Ping-Pong Arguments: Two Tips for Dealing with Family Conflict Inspired by the Divorce Mediation Process
There are some great concepts that mediators use in the mediation process that can be applied right at home. Let’s break down mediator jargon to make it useful for dealing with family conflict. My way or the highway doesn’t work well in the divorce mediation process, and it won’t in your home either… Positions: Many Continue Reading »
5 Steps to a Great Apology | Family Conflict Management Strategies From a Divorce Mediator
Ever receive an apology that didn’t feel apologetic? Left you feeling worse? Angrier? Infuriated? In mediation — and in life — I see apologies of all shapes, sizes and colors. Some feel authentic and cathartic. Some feel compulsory and meaningless. Some feel passive-aggressive and irritating. And some downright hurtful. “I’m sorry you feel that way” Continue Reading »
Should I Get A Divorce? Why Talking About Your Reasons For Divorce Might Be A Game Changer
Sometimes the hardest conversations, the ones we dread the most, provide the greatest opportunity for growth and change in a relationship. I thought about this after chatting with a friend about a tough time with her husband. For her, the “D” word changed everything. That’s right. I’m talking about Divorce. What a loaded word! It Continue Reading »
Hate Losing Arguments? 3 Conflict Mediation Steps to Improve Marriage Communication and Win!
I had a divorce mediation client who loved to win. He loved to win in basketball, business, and investments. His success in life was a result of his competitive nature, he believed. His wife hated his competitive nature. She thought it was short-sighted and interfered with their communication and decision-making. Losing Marriage Arguments They both Continue Reading »
Child Custody Mediation Tip: One Itsy-Bitsy Word Can Make a Huge Difference
Two never-married parents in a child custody mediation despise one another. They chose child custody mediation to push themselves to improve their communication and co-parenting. They are practicing some classic communication strategies. Reflecting back what they are hearing to make sure they understand one another. Listening without interrupting. Even trying to validate feelings. Amazing strategies. Continue Reading »
How to Deal With Teenage Drama | Mediation | Teen Counseling Natick, MA
Understatement of the year: teenagers are tough to parent. Tell me something you don’t know, right? Some conventional ways parents deal with their intransigent teens involve arguing, punishing, ignoring, avoiding, and when push comes to shove, therapy. I recently had success with an unconventional approach with two “heated” teenagers who almost fought on the bus. Continue Reading »
Feeling Ignored? MA Child Support Mediation Shows Why You Get Bewildered When Solutions to Family Problems Are Ignored…And What To Do About It!
Ever offer a solution to a problem that you know will help the other person? A brilliant, selfless, creative, and irrefutable solution? Like this one I heard during a MA child support mediation: “I really won’t care if you reduce the child support.” How many parents paying child support would LOVE to be told that Continue Reading »
One Simple Way to Improve Marital Problems, Family Conflict, & Communication in Relationships
Ever get really impatient waiting for an answer to a question? I know a lot of people like this (you know, like me). Unfortunately, this impatience causes problems. Let’s take Jake, a student with whom I work. One of his teachers had a frustrating experience with him. The teacher asked him a question. Jake looked Continue Reading »
Need Marriage Help? Does Your Partner Ever Sound Like They Speak A Foreign Language? How To Handle Conflict Using Mediation Techniques
When you are arguing with someone do you ever feel like the other person is speaking a foreign language? That they don’t make any sense? When this happens to me it is like listening to french over twenty years after studying it in high school — I recognize a few words but miss the larger Continue Reading »
Relationship Issues Stressing You Out? 3 Tips to Improve Marriage Problems Without a Marriage Counselor
“Why do I NEED to consider her point of view after all the marriage problems we’ve had, and the way she’s treated me?” A divorce mediation client angrily asked this of me after I made a comment suggesting the possibility that he might need to consider his wife’s perspective. I was trying to suggest that Continue Reading »
Parenting Tips for How to Help Your Kids Resolve Conflict
It’s Halloween time. Two brothers are upset because one of the two pumpkins had to be thrown out. Brothers did what brothers do: argue. They both wanted the remaining pumpkin to be their pumpkin. Their mother tried her best to encourage them to share, to reprimand them, and even threatened to take the pumpkin away Continue Reading »
Jedi Training to Develop Conflict Resolution Strategies
So, I am one of those cheesy people that draws meaning from the original classic sci-fi Star Wars trilogy. I know it is mostly over-simplified messages packaged with light sabers, cool characters, mystical forces, and huge spaceships. But what can I tell you? I love it. Why am I telling you this? To set the stage Continue Reading »
Co-Parenting After Divorce When You Hate Your Ex But Love Your Kids
A few weeks ago a divorce mediation client was venting frustration in a private session about certain aspects of child support and co-parenting after divorce. She was convinced that her husband would be irresponsible with the money and spend more of it on himself than the kids. To prove her point she pointed out that Continue Reading »
Stuck in an Argument? Check Out the Balcony View. A Massachusetts Divorce Mediation Tip
Ever get so frustrated in a disagreement because you just know that you are right? That your point of view seems so crystal clear? Of course, you have. I certainly have! It feels good to stick to your guns. Doing so may even occasionally work in your favor. Most of the time however the tension Continue Reading »
Mediation For Divorce In Mass: Be Warned Against Destructive Divorce Marketing!
While I was at the gym today listening to my favorite sports radio station I heard a commercial about divorce in Massachusetts. It made me stop in my tracks. Literally. I mean it. I must have looked ridiculous. I just stood where I was listening to my headphones. The advertiser, a local law group, directed Continue Reading »
Decision Making That Will Stick: Mediation Examples You Can Learn From
I hear “I should…” all the time. General Life Examples of I Should Decision Making: I should go to the gym…(but watches more TV instead) I should go on a diet…(but digs in to her ice cream instead) I should save more money…(but shops online instead) I should call her and mend fences…(but holds the Continue Reading »
Family Communication, Parenting Help, and How to Stay Calm: Lessons Learned From a Sobbing Hysterical Tantrumming 6 Year Old
A “Hysterical” Miscommunication A few weeks ago my son had an out of the ordinary temper tantrum – OK, he was flipping out — during a sleepover with his grandparents. They were calling me, I was calling them, and all the while he is yelling and crying in the background. It was stressful all around Continue Reading »
Dealing With Marriage Communication and Relationship Issues? Stay Out of the Weeds
It is often said that the “devil is in the details” and certainly this is often sage communication advice. Other times, especially during arguments, divorce mediation, marriage communication, and conflict in general, I would argue that the “devil IS the details.” Devilish Hypocrisy Consider these points of conflict that I have recently heard during mediations: Continue Reading »
Angry at a Family Member? Learn Family Conflict Resolution Skills to Deal With Family Issues
“I just don’t understand why my brother won’t listen to me!” I was asked this somewhat rhetorical question yesterday while explaining mediation to someone. This woman was frustrated by how her brother berated his son in front of other people. He refused to follow her advice. She felt he was embarrassing his son for no Continue Reading »
Lessons Learned Providing Mediations: Ben’s Mediation Blog
I am a family and divorce mediator. When I say I love mediations to people I often get one of the following responses: Really? (Translation: why in the world would you want to do that?), or… Really? (Translation: I have no idea what that is but I’ll play along), or.. Really? (Translation: my aunt’s sister’s next Continue Reading »
