family law - Ben Stich, Mediator, LICSW, M.Ed

Do I Need a Divorce Attorney During Divorce Mediation?

by Ben Stich

Do I Need a Divorce Attorney During Divorce Mediation?

If you’re mediating your divorce, you may be asking: Do I need a divorce attorney during divorce mediation?

The short answer? No.

A divorce attorney isn’t required to participate in mediation.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea to speak with one.

In fact, I recommend it (with caveats–more on that below).

Think of it this way: in mediation, you and your spouse are far more in charge of the decisions—not lawyers, and not a judge. That’s one of the great opportunities mediation provides. To make the best decisions you can it is important to do so in the most informed way as possible. That’s where consulting with an attorney can help—especially to better understand your legal rights, responsibilities, and the long-term impact of your choices.

The role of a mediator vs. the role of an attorney

Divorce mediators help you have productive conversations and find common ground. We’re here to support both of you equally. But we’re not allowed to give legal advice.

Sometimes people get confused about the difference between legal information and legal advice. Mediators can provide legal information—like what the child support guidelines are or what the court process looks like. But mediators can’t interpret the law for your specific situation or recommend a particular course of action. That’s legal advice, and it can only come from your own lawyer.

What does it mean to work with a “mediation-friendly” attorney?

Here’s the caveat I mentioned. Some attorneys focus heavily on litigation—fighting things out in court. Others are more resolution-minded. A mediation-friendly attorney is someone who supports out-of-court solutions, and may even have mediation training themselves. They understand the goals of the process and won’t try to hijack it or create conflict that doesn’t need to be there.

Using a consulting attorney during mediation

You can hire an attorney in a limited capacity. You might consult with them to:

Give you advice about a tough issue, like alimony or parenting schedules
Review your Separation Agreement before you sign
Help you figure out whether a creative agreement is likely to be approved by the court
Draft or edit documents you’ll file
Join you for the final court hearing, if that feels supportive

This setup gives you the flexibility to get the help you need without the expense of a full-service divorce attorney.

Why talk to a mediation-friendly consulting attorney at all if you’re mediating?

It’s cost-effective. You only pay for what you need.
It gives you peace of mind. You’ll know you’re making informed decisions—especially if you’re waiving something like alimony.
It helps with court approval. Judges want to know that both people understood what they were signing.
It empowers you. Information is power and helps you make informed decisions–even if you don’t follow your attorney’s advice!

So… do you need a divorce attorney during divorce mediation?

Not necessarily but I recommend you do. Checking in with one—even just briefly—can help make sure you’re protected and confident in the decisions you’re making.

Divorce mediation is about finding a respectful, workable path forward. And for many couples, having an attorney as a behind-the-scenes support helps that path be steadier.

Go to top

This post was adapted from Attorney Anthony Adamopoulos, a seasoned family law attorney specializing in collaborative approaches to divorce. To learn more about how Anthony can be helpful: https://www.divorcingoptions.com

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

divorce mediation vs litigation is like rolling the dice

Divorce Mediation vs Litigation: Trading Hope for Certainty

by Ben Stich

Divorce Mediation vs Litigation: Trading Hope for Certainty

Divorce can be one of life’s most stressful experiences, but the choice between divorce mediation vs litigation can make all the difference. When couples rely on litigation to resolve their disputes, they hand over control to attorneys and a judge who don’t truly know them or their families. Mediation offers an alternative—one where you and your spouse stay in control and co-create solutions that truly work for your family. It’s not about “trading hope” as much as it is about “gaining certainty.”

Let me share two stories that highlight the stark differences between divorce mediation vs litigation.

Story 1: A Parenting Schedule and Holidays

Litigation: Sarah and Mike are in a contested divorce action fight relying on their attorneys.

Sarah wants to have Christmas morning with the kids every year, while Mike insists on keeping them for Christmas Eve and the morning as part of his extended family tradition. Their attorneys assure them the court will sort it out, but months go by due to a backlog in the court system. When the day finally comes, the judge issues a rigid cookie-cutter ruling: Sarah gets Christmas on odd years, Mike on even years—with no flexibility. Neither parent’s traditions are fully honored, and the lack of input leaves them both feeling sidelined. The kids, caught in the middle, are shuttled between houses without understanding why the holidays suddenly feel so fractured.

Mediation: Lisa and John are working with a divorce mediator.

They sat down with a mediator to work through their priorities for the holidays. The children love the tradition of Lisa hosting Thanksgiving for her extended family while the children have always enjoyed going with John to the local Thanksgiving high school football game. Likewise, while John cherished spending Christmas morning opening gifts with the kids, Lisa cared most about the children attending church on Christmas Eve. Together, they crafted a plan:

Thanksgiving:
- Wednesday 5 PM through Thanksgiving at 12 with Mike, which enabled the children to go to the football game
- Thanksgiving Day at 12 through Saturday morning at 9 with Lisa, which allowed the children to attend the family Thanksgiving (and gave Lisa some child-free time to get the house ready!)
Christmas:
- Christmas Eve 12 PM through 8PM with Lisa every year, which allowed for the children to attend 4PM mass
- Christmas Eve 8PM through December 26th 9AM with Mike every year, which allowed the children to continue the tradition of Mike dressing as Santa Saturday morning with a bag of gifts (and the day for the kids to play with their new toys)!

The result? A plan tailored to their family’s traditions, ensuring their kids felt stability and love during the holidays.

Story 2: What to Do with the Marital Home

Litigation: Rafael and Malik are fighting the court over what to do with their house.

Rafael wanted to keep it to maintain stability for the kids, while Malik felt selling it was the only fair solution. In court, their dispute dragged on for months, racking up legal fees. The judge ultimately ordered the home sold, leaving Rafael devastated and Malik equally frustrated. Neither felt the outcome reflected their needs.

Mediation: Maria and Tom have decided to hire a mediator.

Tom and Maria decided to work through the difficult decisions about their house because they believed that despite the hard feelings property issues don’t have to be a battle. With the mediator’s guidance, they decided to the following plan:

Maria would remain in the house for two more years so the kids could finish school
After two years she would sell it and split the proceeds.
Tom will receive a partial buyout upfront so he can move forward with relocating comfortably

This cooperative approach avoided the financial strain of litigation and ensured a solution both could accept.

Divorce Mediation–Even When Collaboration is Hard

Collaboration isn’t always easy—especially when emotions run high or trust is fractured. Even when the negotiation is stressful and challenging, there are usually ways to work through it. But even in higher-conflict situations, mediation provides a pathway to maintaining control over your future. Rolling the dice in court often leads to unpredictable and unsatisfying outcomes. Mediation, on the other hand, allows you to shape decisions that empower you. Taking ownership of the outcome—even when compromises are difficult—is far more rewarding than gambling on a judge’s ruling.

Divorce Mediation Can Lead to a More Certain Future

Mediation provides you and your spouse with something litigation rarely does: certainty.

Together, you create solutions that reflect your unique needs and goals. You save time, money, and stress—and most importantly, you maintain control of your future. Isn’t that a better trade?

Schedule a Free Mediation Consultation

Photo by Edge2Edge Media on Unsplash

Same-Sex Divorce Mediation

by Ben Stich

Elder Mediation

by Ben Stich

Postnup Mediation in Massachusetts

by Ben Stich

setting goals helps create a successful divorce mediation process

How to Have a Successful Divorce Mediation: Start with Setting Goals

by Ben Stich

Divorce is stressful and having a successful divorce can be daunting. It’s one of those paradoxes of life—you’re expected to make huge, life-altering decisions when you might be feeling anything but calm and collected. The truth is, it’s tough to think straight when emotions are running high, and that’s perfectly normal.

A lot of couples starting divorce mediation feel overwhelmed, but here’s the good news: you don’t need to have all the answers right now. What can help is taking a step back and thinking about your goals. Even if you’re not sure how to get there, knowing what really matters to you can be a huge step toward making clearer, more confident decisions.

Why Goal-Setting Can be a Game-Changer for a Successful Divorce Mediation

Mediation is all about collaboration, and one of the best ways to keep things moving in the right direction is by setting thoughtful, clear goals. These goals will guide the entire process, helping you focus on the big picture and reduce getting caught up in the emotional rollercoaster.

Sharing your goals with your spouse and your divorce mediator right from the start creates clarity, helps find common ground, and keeps everyone anchored during the tough moments. Here are a few examples of the kinds of goals to think about.

The Outcomes You Want

At the heart of every mediation are the outcomes that matter most to each of you—things like dividing assets fairly, creating a parenting plan, or ensuring financial stability after the divorce. Or, maintaining a friendship, planning for a comfortable retirement, parenting well together, or staying connected to the dog! The goals are personal to you and your situation. By having clear goals for these key outcomes you are identifying the divorce destination. The divorce mediation is the process to map out the steps needed to arrive at those destinations. And when you both know what you’re aiming for, it’s easier to collaborate and find solutions that work for everyone.

How You Work Together

It’s not just what you want that matters—it’s how you get there, too. Divorce can stir up a lot of emotions, and sometimes that can lead to unproductive arguments or power struggles. Setting goals for how to work together can help establish shared communication guidelines, expectations, or norms for how you’ll communicate during mediation. For instance, maybe you agree to not interrupt each other. Or to summarize to check for understanding. Or take a break when you’re getting frustrated. Getting on the same page about how to work together can go a long way toward reducing conflict and keeping things on track.

Short-Term, Intermediate, and Long-Term Goals

Think about your goals on different timelines. What needs to be sorted out right away, like who stays in the family home? What needs attention in the next year, like helping your kids adjust to a new routine? And what’s on the horizon in the long-term, like ensuring both of you are financially independent or that your children grow up in a stable, loving environment? Stepping back and looking at your situation from a distance (a “balcony view“) can help you assess if your agreements are fair and reasonable in the short and long term.

Goals for Your Kids

If you have children, this is probably one of your biggest concerns. Setting goals that prioritize their well-being—like a parenting schedule that works for everyone, or decisions about who’s responsible for what—can help ensure your children continue to thrive, even as things change. Perhaps the goal might be driven by your child’s special needs’ considerations. Or by their connection to their friends and community. Or perhaps wanting to be sure they have proverbial skin in the game when it comes to college financing. As parents, your parenting values, philosophies, and aspirations can help guide the development of a good parenting plan.

Just Like a GPS…

Picture this: you wouldn’t head out on a road trip without a map (or a GPS these days, right?). Setting goals for your divorce mediation is kind of like having that map. It keeps you pointed in the right direction, even when the road gets a little bumpy. With shared and individual goals guiding the way, you’re setting yourself up for a smoother, more successful divorce process.

If you would like to learn more about how divorce mediation or collaborative law might help your situation please schedule a complementary half-hour divorce mediation consultation with Ben Stich or a member of his stellar mediation team.

Photo by Ronnie Overgoor on Unsplash

how to get an uncontested divorce in Massachusetts

Steps for Getting an Uncontested Divorce in Massachusetts

by Ben Stich

When I start divorce mediation consultations most clients explain how they need help understanding the complex divorce process in Massachusetts. Many feel like they do not know much about it, often saying, We need guidance because we don’t know what we don’t know!

Steps for Getting an Uncontested Divorce in Massachusetts

1. Ensure you Meet Residency Requirements

Either one spouse has lived in Massachusetts for a year, or the cause of the divorce happened in Massachusetts while the couple was residing there, and one spouse is still living in the state at the time of filing.

2. Understand the Grounds for Divorce

Massachusetts offers both “no-fault” and “fault-based” divorce options. A “no-fault” divorce means that neither spouse is to blame for the end of the marriage, while a “fault-based” divorce involves alleging wrongdoing, such as adultery or cruelty. 1A divorces are “no-fault” based on an “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.”

3. Understand “1A” and “1B” Paths of Getting a Divorce in Massachusetts

There are two ways of filing for divorce:

A 1A divorce is an uncontested divorce. The “filing for divorce” happens at the end of the divorce negotiation. The filing involves submitting divorce paperwork to the Probate and Family Court to request a hearing for a judge to review (and hopefully approve!) the divorce agreement.
A 1B divorce is a contested divorce, which initiates the legal divorce process and involves the court system prior to coming to a full agreement. In contrast to a 1A divorce, a 1B divorce may involve more time, attorney involvement, and court intervention. You can still mediate if one spouse has filed a 1B divorce.

4. Determine Who is Part of Your Divorce Team

Decide how you want to be guided in your divorce process. Options include:

Hiring a divorce mediator to facilitate the divorce
Retain divorce attorneys to negotiate on your behalf or serve as consultants to you during mediation
Participate in a Collaborative Divorce process
Navigate divorce yourself. A do-it-yourself is not advisable except in the shortest term marriages without children or significant assets.

There may be other professionals that might help provide the advice you need to inform your decisions, such as a certified divorce financial analyst, a mediation-friendly divorce attorney as a consultant, a certified divorce lending professional, a CPA, and a divorce coach, among others.

5. Collect Necessary Documents

Gather important documents related to your marriage, finances, and assets. These may include:

Marriage certificate
Financial statements and tax returns
Property records
Information about your children (if applicable)

6. Complete Financial Statements

Both you and your spouse will be required to complete financial statements, which outline your income, expenses, assets, and liabilities. This information will help in determining property division, alimony, and child support.

7. Negotiate, Make Decisions, and Draft a Separation Agreement

In a joint petition for divorce (1A) settlement most typically occurs through divorce mediation, attorney negotiation, or Collaborative Law. The formal settlement agreement is called a Separation Agreement. The Separation Agreement will address property division, spousal support, insurance, taxes, and for parents, a parenting plan and child support. A joint petition for divorce empowers spouses to make decisions they believe are fair, reasonable, and equitable, while having the maximal control over their decision-making.

8. For 1A Divorces, File for Divorce

Filing a 1A divorce involves submitting a lot of paperwork to the court, a filing fee of $215, and a marriage license. This is an example of a filing checklist of documents required to file a 1A divorce in Massachusetts.

9. Attend a Court Hearing

If your filing is accepted (the court can reject filings if there are mistakes) a hearing will be scheduled a couple of months from the date of filing. The judge will have reviewed your Separation Agreement and financial statements. You will take the oath that you will tell the truth and then be asked a series of standard questions by the judge, as well as some specific questions related to your circumstances. If all goes well the judge will approve your agreement. The judge may reject parts of your agreement and ask you to make some changes. You can make changes that same day and be heard by the judge again. If that is not possible, a follow-up hearing will be scheduled to review your updated agreement.

10. Divorce Waiting Period

In a 1A divorce once the agreement is approved the judgment will be issued in 30 days (theoretically you could withdraw the divorce in those 30 day). At the 30 day mark you enter the Nisi period which is an additional 90 day waiting period until Divorce Absolute, which is when the divorce is legally finalized (total of 120 days).

Knowing that you don’t know what you don’t know…

It is the mediator’s responsibility to make sure you are fully informed about the divorce process. Clients sometimes lead with “this might be a dumb question” and let me assure you: there is no dumb question. The court process is complicated and confusing and the mediator will provide support and education to be sure you are fully informed about the process.

If you would like to learn more about how divorce mediation or collaborative law might help your situation please schedule a complementary half-hour divorce mediation consultation with Ben Stich or a member of his stellar mediation team.

unhappy unmarried parents needing mediation

Separated & Unmarried Parents Mediation

by Ben Stich

When is My Divorce Court Date? How to Look Up Your Divorce Information Online

by Ben Stich

The divorce process in Massachusetts can be overwhelming. I often hear clients’ expressing anxiety when they do not know when their divorce hearing court date is scheduled, especially when many weeks have gone by without receiving notice. When couples do not hear from the court right away it is normal to worry if their 1A divorce filing paperwork may have been lost. Or, normal to worry the notification may have got lost in the mail.

Can I look up information about my divorce online?

Yes!

While you should have received notice by snail mail there is a way to check online. It might be posted online before you receive your notification by mail.

You can visit the Massachusetts Trial Court Electronic Case Access website. This is a public database that anyone can use to see the status of their case, including the name of the judge that is assigned and that date of the next hearing.

This is confusing! How do I use this site?

Here is a step-by-step guide how to look up information about your divorce online and find out your divorce court hearing date:

Step #1: Click on “click-here” on the bottom left of the page after completing the Captcha form

Step #2: Select “Probate and Family Court” when asked to pick a court department

Step #3: Then, select your county, which is referred to as your “division” in the Probate and Family Court system. Note, the county is picked based on this criteria:

If your spouse still lives in the same county where you lived together, you must file in that county.
Otherwise, you can file in the county where you live or your spouse lives.

Step #4: Enter your name in the boxes asking for First Name and Last Name

Step #5: Click “Search” on the bottom left of the screen

What if I still do not know when my divorce court date is scheduled for?

It is possible your filing has not been docketed. I would first contact your probate court division by phone, email, their zoom “virtual registry,” or in-person to ask if they have your paperwork and if a date has been scheduled. Your attorney, if you have one, can help you as well.

If you would like to learn more about divorce mediation schedule a free half-hour zoom consultation with Ben or another Mediation and Family Services mediator.

Divorce Mediation in MA

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Do I Need a Divorce Attorney During Divorce Mediation?

by Ben Stich

Do I Need a Divorce Attorney During Divorce Mediation?

If you’re mediating your divorce, you may be asking: Do I need a divorce attorney during divorce mediation?

The short answer? No.

A divorce attorney isn’t required to participate in mediation.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea to speak with one.

In fact, I recommend it (with caveats–more on that below).

Think of it this way: in mediation, you and your spouse are far more in charge of the decisions—not lawyers, and not a judge. That’s one of the great opportunities mediation provides. To make the best decisions you can it is important to do so in the most informed way as possible. That’s where consulting with an attorney can help—especially to better understand your legal rights, responsibilities, and the long-term impact of your choices.

The role of a mediator vs. the role of an attorney

Divorce mediators help you have productive conversations and find common ground. We’re here to support both of you equally. But we’re not allowed to give legal advice.

Sometimes people get confused about the difference between legal information and legal advice. Mediators can provide legal information—like what the child support guidelines are or what the court process looks like. But mediators can’t interpret the law for your specific situation or recommend a particular course of action. That’s legal advice, and it can only come from your own lawyer.

What does it mean to work with a “mediation-friendly” attorney?

Here’s the caveat I mentioned. Some attorneys focus heavily on litigation—fighting things out in court. Others are more resolution-minded. A mediation-friendly attorney is someone who supports out-of-court solutions, and may even have mediation training themselves. They understand the goals of the process and won’t try to hijack it or create conflict that doesn’t need to be there.

Using a consulting attorney during mediation

You can hire an attorney in a limited capacity. You might consult with them to:

Give you advice about a tough issue, like alimony or parenting schedules
Review your Separation Agreement before you sign
Help you figure out whether a creative agreement is likely to be approved by the court
Draft or edit documents you’ll file
Join you for the final court hearing, if that feels supportive

This setup gives you the flexibility to get the help you need without the expense of a full-service divorce attorney.

Why talk to a mediation-friendly consulting attorney at all if you’re mediating?

It’s cost-effective. You only pay for what you need.
It gives you peace of mind. You’ll know you’re making informed decisions—especially if you’re waiving something like alimony.
It helps with court approval. Judges want to know that both people understood what they were signing.
It empowers you. Information is power and helps you make informed decisions–even if you don’t follow your attorney’s advice!

So… do you need a divorce attorney during divorce mediation?

Not necessarily but I recommend you do. Checking in with one—even just briefly—can help make sure you’re protected and confident in the decisions you’re making.

Divorce mediation is about finding a respectful, workable path forward. And for many couples, having an attorney as a behind-the-scenes support helps that path be steadier.

Go to top

This post was adapted from Attorney Anthony Adamopoulos, a seasoned family law attorney specializing in collaborative approaches to divorce. To learn more about how Anthony can be helpful: https://www.divorcingoptions.com

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Divorce Mediation vs Litigation: Trading Hope for Certainty

by Ben Stich

Divorce Mediation vs Litigation: Trading Hope for Certainty

Divorce can be one of life’s most stressful experiences, but the choice between divorce mediation vs litigation can make all the difference. When couples rely on litigation to resolve their disputes, they hand over control to attorneys and a judge who don’t truly know them or their families. Mediation offers an alternative—one where you and your spouse stay in control and co-create solutions that truly work for your family. It’s not about “trading hope” as much as it is about “gaining certainty.”

Let me share two stories that highlight the stark differences between divorce mediation vs litigation.

Story 1: A Parenting Schedule and Holidays

Litigation: Sarah and Mike are in a contested divorce action fight relying on their attorneys.

Sarah wants to have Christmas morning with the kids every year, while Mike insists on keeping them for Christmas Eve and the morning as part of his extended family tradition. Their attorneys assure them the court will sort it out, but months go by due to a backlog in the court system. When the day finally comes, the judge issues a rigid cookie-cutter ruling: Sarah gets Christmas on odd years, Mike on even years—with no flexibility. Neither parent’s traditions are fully honored, and the lack of input leaves them both feeling sidelined. The kids, caught in the middle, are shuttled between houses without understanding why the holidays suddenly feel so fractured.

Mediation: Lisa and John are working with a divorce mediator.

They sat down with a mediator to work through their priorities for the holidays. The children love the tradition of Lisa hosting Thanksgiving for her extended family while the children have always enjoyed going with John to the local Thanksgiving high school football game. Likewise, while John cherished spending Christmas morning opening gifts with the kids, Lisa cared most about the children attending church on Christmas Eve. Together, they crafted a plan:

Thanksgiving:
- Wednesday 5 PM through Thanksgiving at 12 with Mike, which enabled the children to go to the football game
- Thanksgiving Day at 12 through Saturday morning at 9 with Lisa, which allowed the children to attend the family Thanksgiving (and gave Lisa some child-free time to get the house ready!)
Christmas:
- Christmas Eve 12 PM through 8PM with Lisa every year, which allowed for the children to attend 4PM mass
- Christmas Eve 8PM through December 26th 9AM with Mike every year, which allowed the children to continue the tradition of Mike dressing as Santa Saturday morning with a bag of gifts (and the day for the kids to play with their new toys)!

The result? A plan tailored to their family’s traditions, ensuring their kids felt stability and love during the holidays.

Story 2: What to Do with the Marital Home

Litigation: Rafael and Malik are fighting the court over what to do with their house.

Rafael wanted to keep it to maintain stability for the kids, while Malik felt selling it was the only fair solution. In court, their dispute dragged on for months, racking up legal fees. The judge ultimately ordered the home sold, leaving Rafael devastated and Malik equally frustrated. Neither felt the outcome reflected their needs.

Mediation: Maria and Tom have decided to hire a mediator.

Tom and Maria decided to work through the difficult decisions about their house because they believed that despite the hard feelings property issues don’t have to be a battle. With the mediator’s guidance, they decided to the following plan:

Maria would remain in the house for two more years so the kids could finish school
After two years she would sell it and split the proceeds.
Tom will receive a partial buyout upfront so he can move forward with relocating comfortably

This cooperative approach avoided the financial strain of litigation and ensured a solution both could accept.

Divorce Mediation–Even When Collaboration is Hard

Collaboration isn’t always easy—especially when emotions run high or trust is fractured. Even when the negotiation is stressful and challenging, there are usually ways to work through it. But even in higher-conflict situations, mediation provides a pathway to maintaining control over your future. Rolling the dice in court often leads to unpredictable and unsatisfying outcomes. Mediation, on the other hand, allows you to shape decisions that empower you. Taking ownership of the outcome—even when compromises are difficult—is far more rewarding than gambling on a judge’s ruling.

Divorce Mediation Can Lead to a More Certain Future

Mediation provides you and your spouse with something litigation rarely does: certainty.

Together, you create solutions that reflect your unique needs and goals. You save time, money, and stress—and most importantly, you maintain control of your future. Isn’t that a better trade?

Schedule a Free Mediation Consultation

Photo by Edge2Edge Media on Unsplash

Same-Sex Divorce Mediation

by Ben Stich

Elder Mediation

by Ben Stich

Postnup Mediation in Massachusetts

by Ben Stich

How to Have a Successful Divorce Mediation: Start with Setting Goals

by Ben Stich

Divorce is stressful and having a successful divorce can be daunting. It’s one of those paradoxes of life—you’re expected to make huge, life-altering decisions when you might be feeling anything but calm and collected. The truth is, it’s tough to think straight when emotions are running high, and that’s perfectly normal.

A lot of couples starting divorce mediation feel overwhelmed, but here’s the good news: you don’t need to have all the answers right now. What can help is taking a step back and thinking about your goals. Even if you’re not sure how to get there, knowing what really matters to you can be a huge step toward making clearer, more confident decisions.

Why Goal-Setting Can be a Game-Changer for a Successful Divorce Mediation

Mediation is all about collaboration, and one of the best ways to keep things moving in the right direction is by setting thoughtful, clear goals. These goals will guide the entire process, helping you focus on the big picture and reduce getting caught up in the emotional rollercoaster.

Sharing your goals with your spouse and your divorce mediator right from the start creates clarity, helps find common ground, and keeps everyone anchored during the tough moments. Here are a few examples of the kinds of goals to think about.