“Stop trying to fix all my problems!” “You’re NOT LISTENING to me!” “You don’t GET it! Sound familiar in your relationship? If you or your partner have either uttered something like this out of sheer exasperation, or have had these barbs thrown in your face, you have to watch this video. Seriously. Check it out. […]
It’s Halloween time. Two brothers are upset because one of the two pumpkins had to be thrown out. Brothers did what brothers do: argue. They both wanted the remaining pumpkin to be their pumpkin. Their mother tried her best to encourage them to share, to reprimand them, and even threatened to take the pumpkin away […]
Co-Parenting After Divorce While divorce can seem like an overwhelming obstacle, for many parents it is just the beginning of a new and equally intimidating challenge: co-parenting your children. Hopefully, if you’re reading this you are still involved in your children’s lives, and hopefully co-parenting. I write under the assumption that you both care deeply […]
So, I am one of those cheesy people that draws meaning from the original classic sci-fi Star Wars trilogy. I know it is mostly over-simplified messages packaged with light sabers, cool characters, mystical forces, and huge spaceships. But what can I tell you? I love it. Why am I telling you this? To set the stage […]
A few weeks ago a divorce mediation client was venting frustration in a private session about certain aspects of child support and co-parenting after divorce. She was convinced that her husband would be irresponsible with the money and spend more of it on himself than the kids. To prove her point she pointed out that […]
Ever get so frustrated in a disagreement because you just know that you are right? That your point of view seems so crystal clear? Of course, you have. I certainly have! It feels good to stick to your guns. Doing so may even occasionally work in your favor. Most of the time however the tension […]
While I was at the gym today listening to my favorite sports radio station I heard a commercial about divorce in Massachusetts. It made me stop in my tracks. Literally. I mean it. I must have looked ridiculous. I just stood where I was listening to my headphones. The advertiser, a local law group, directed […]
I hear “I should…” all the time. General Life Examples of I Should Decision Making: I should go to the gym…(but watches more TV instead) I should go on a diet…(but digs in to her ice cream instead) I should save more money…(but shops online instead) I should call her and mend fences…(but holds […]
A “Hysterical” Miscommunication A few weeks ago my son had an out of the ordinary temper tantrum – OK, he was flipping out — during a sleepover with his grandparents. They were calling me, I was calling them, and all the while he is yelling and crying in the background. It was stressful all around […]
It is often said that the “devil is in the details” and certainly this is often sage communication advice. Other times, especially during arguments, divorce mediation, marriage communication, and conflict in general, I would argue that the “devil IS the details.” Devilish Hypocrisy Consider these points of conflict that I have recently heard during mediations: […]